OCEAN BREEZE

Backpacking Safety – “Staying Alive”

This should be an article that is a little fun and also a little interesting – even for a non-backpacker. At least I hope it is. For the beginner backpacker it should be required reading. For the experienced backpacker it might be a fun read, especially if you haven’t been in bear country. For the non-backpacker you will learn about bears and get a surprise too…

First, let’s take care of the obvious, non-animal/non-bear related safety issues:

Backpacking is dangerous. You should be fit enough to go backpacking on whatever trip you or someone else has planned. Do not invite anyone who isn’t really ready for the planned trip, nor should you go if you have concern. Consider age, pack weight, length of trip, elevation gain, experience level, and altitude. You also don’t want anyone having a heart attack or stroke, so please consider how strenuous the final plan is.

Altitude is dangerous. According to medical research, above 8000 feet is where HAPE (High Altitude Pulmonary Edema) can set in and it’s deadly. Anyone going to high altitude should be educated and aware of the symptoms and have a plan in the event anyone in their group starts to show symptoms. Please heed this warning. Here is some expert reading on altitude sickness:

https://www.health.harvard.edu/a_to_z/altitude-sickness-a-to-z

https://www.altitude.org/altitude-sickness

I do worry about altitude. I always recommend acclimating prior to hitting the trails if possible. I am heading out into the wild soon, I’m super excited, and I am acclimating. While I write this, I am going one step further – I am day-hiking around the mountains just to make sure all is well with me physically. Today I will do so with some weight. I’ve recently had the corona virus and I’m not really sure what it has done to my lungs. I’m testing myself and in the event I think there is risk, I will just plan a lower altitude trip. (Update: no issues with hiking 7.25 miles to 9300 feet with weight post corona virus – thank god!).

From a first aid perspective, you could get hurt while in the wood. Being careful in general is important. I once walked across a talus field in my campshoes (mistake number 1) to get to a specific fishing spot. Tallus is not stable, where I was walking moved under my feet, and down I went. I slashed open my knee. It got pretty banged up and it bled a lot, but not a big issue. My point is cutting oneself, spraining a joint, or breaking a bone is not out of the scope of reality. My buddy, we will call him “Stoneman”, once just fell over after getting light headed at altitude. He was crouched over cleaning a fish for a few minutes, rose quickly, and tipped over (mini-blackout). He could have gotten hurt if he hit his head – no wait I correct myself – it’s “Stoneman” and his head is made of “stone”!. Never mind. But get my point – in 15 years of backpacking we’ve had a number of near misses…

For your first aid kit, whatever level you decide is your necessary carry supplies, make sure you replenish what you use so you maintain an appropriate level.

For medical emergencies, you need to be able to communicate to emergency rescue personnel.  For this you will need satellite communications. There are choices, but you will need both a device and a service plan. We have been using SPOT for many years. It has two way communication (texting) and is trackable (latest version on left).

Cell phones are spotty in the woods, and I do not consider them a reliable communication service for emergency situations.

Another safety rule is you must always have a water supply, either in your bladder or the stream/lake nearby. If you get low, or run out, find it. I bring this up because I’ve been to streams that were dry and lakes that were dry or a puddle. A puddle for me will work. A dry bed will not. If it happens, it’s time for a alternate plan. Find water. Dehydration = Bad.

Moving on to the more interesting topics: Animals. Some are going to come and visit. They like us. Cute little squirrels, marmots, chipmunks – they like your food if you let them. Deer are often grazing around your campsite seemingly fearless of man in the deep woods. Keep in mind, deer eat at night. They might be eating the bush right next to your tent in the middle of the night, while they snort, and trip on your guylines. You might be close to a heart attack or worse, shit oneself when this happens, as you think it’s a bear…and a bear at your tent in the middle of the night is rather problematic…So Poor “Stoneman” was almost killed by this little doe you see at your right at 3am…

Following are insights on the most likely dangerous animals you are potentially going to come in contact with while in the wood. Our number one safety measure is to be in a group, at least two people, at all times. You have safety in numbers. Alone, your safety is greatly reduced. I am not allowed to backpack alone as it is forbidden by “Love”. I don’t like this rule but you have to listen to your wife.

Mountain lions most likely are not going to be a problem. You will likely never see one, and if you do it will be running away. In the event you get between a mother and her cub, you might have a problem. Best to back off, head down, eyes up. If this cat decides to attack, you have to scare it off – get big and loud and get aggressive. It will likely go away. Having said this, a mountain lion will hunt small children. Be very careful with small children in the wilderness. And keep in mind a mountain lion, if given the opportunity, will grab a child and run very fast if it feels it has the opportunity even with you nearby. I do backpack with my daughter and have been for a very long time. I was super cautious when she was small and this is really the only time I bring a firearm with me anymore.

Badgers can be nasty. They don’t realize you are bigger and more dangerous. They will attack you if you provoke them even accidentally. They are nocturnal so be careful with that which you are curious about in the evenings. Also keep in mind they are in dirt holes and climb trees. Just move on.

Moose are in fact very dangerous. They live where we go – forested areas with bodies of water. They will charge you and stomp you do death. Stay your distance.  Never get between a cow and her calf. If you happen upon one at close proximity (this will happen), back off slowly, head down, eyes up, and pay attention. If it stops eating, stares at you, starts to snort and/or gets animated, it’s thinking about charging you. Now luckily they are actually very stupid. If you hide behind a tree or a boulder it just thinks you are no longer there. You have magically disappeared and of no concern to them any further. While I did my noted day-hike with weight above, with this article in development, we came in contact with a moose right on our trail! We quietly huddled behind a tree (while taking a few pics – on right). We waited for him to continue past our trail. Then we gave him a wide berth and did an arc through the forest and got back on our trail. He never stopped grazing and paid us no attention. How’s that for a coincidence!

Wolves deserve to be feared. I’ve never seen one nor a pack while backpacking. Interestingly, I do see them in or on the outskirts of towns though, often early morning or night. They are a big dog and deadly. However I don’t believe they want to hunt human’s. If they were very hungry, I’m sure they would. What we know about dogs is what we will use; Your best defense from a wolf or wolves is safety in numbers. If you are in a group I don’t think you have much to fear. If you are alone – you have a problem. You do not run away from a wolf, it is going to run you down. You need to get big, loud, and aggressive. Fire will help. And a firearm even better. Don’t watch the movie “The Grey”!

Now on to what many have been waiting for: Bears. I hike and backpack in areas with a high concentration of Grizzlies and Black Bears. I see them both frequently, and to date I have not had a bad encounter.  Once I took a shortcut off trail over a ridge line and into a meadow. One step off the bouldered ridge line and into the meadow I was 20 feet away from a very large male Grizzly. We definitely startled each other, and startling a Grizz is a mistake. My next move was to get passive and backoff while grabbing my bear spray off my belt. The Grizz’s approach was to stand up on his hind legs and sniff the air. He decided, as is often the case, he wanted nothing to do with me and immediately started to run across the meadow into a cropping of trees.  My backpacking partner was a mere 20 feet behind me and the whole encounter occurred before he caught up. Our backpacking group is bear aware and cautious. And bear discussions at the campfire are frequent and entertaining, even after years of these discussions on the latest Bear events and news. Watching The Revenant was a major eye opener!  I recommend you watch the bear scenes to understand…

We are going to treat Grizzlies and Black Bears identically in this article although Grizzlies are bigger and in my opinion much more dangerous. The main identifying feature I use to determine if what I’m seeing is a Grizzly or a Black is the prominent hump on the back of the neck of the Grizzly. Now backpackers know when they are in bear country. No issues there but let’s go over if you are not only in bear country, but in bear proximity.

Identifying features of Bear’s in your proximity:

Bear prints in the ground look like this. This is a front foot and is wide and squarish. A back print will look like this but the heel is narrow, pseudo triangular.

Bears make markings on tree trunks to mark their territory. If you see them, you know they are close. If you see one with sap dripping out of it, which I have, it is very fresh. It makes me believe that they are making the marks for your benefit…

Here are pics of bear scat. Note that bears eating vegetation and berries have form and bear’s eating meat are piles of plop with more liquid.

At this point, we’ve gotten two things established – you are backpacking in bear country and they are near. How are we going to stay safe? For one, the recurring theme in this whole article, is we have safety in numbers. Stay with your backpacking buddies, and stay in relative close proximity. In bear country, dense forests, with boulders in abundance, the fact is you might be very close to one, or worse between a mother and her cubs instantaneously.  The fact is you will likely not be in an open field with vast visibility, just the opposite. When you are with others, they back off, and move on. Alone, they might not.

A situational problem, not unlike getting between a mother and her cubs, is when a bear thinks you are a threat to its food supply. In the event you come across a carcass, for instance a dear or an elk, in your path it’s time to prepare. Bears are known to lay on top of their kill and just protect it from others and eat it. But they also will hide closely near watching it, protecting it from other predators. In this instance stay away from the carcass, do not go to it thinking you’d like the antlers or the skull, or to get a nice pic. Move away and move on.

Bear spray is necessary. Bear spray is your second best defense against bears if you get to the point of having an encounter. My approach to an encounter is to back off slowly, head down, eyes up, hand on my bear spray slowly getting it to the ready. There are telltale signs a bear is planning to charge; if it stares at you, lowers its head, and ears flatten down you are likely the recipient of a charge.  If you are in fear of charge, you need the bear spray can in your hands quickly. The technique with bear spray is using two second bursts aimed low for bears 30 feet or less away. They will not hang…their noses are eight times more sensitive than a bloodhound. It has a knock down impact on them. It is a much better safety measure than a firearm as bear spray is more like a grenade with its spread. With a handgun, you have time to get one shot off and if it’s not on target, you’re mauled. And to be fair here, we do not want to kill a bear. We are in its home and we need to be respectful of that. Bear spray will stop the attack without seriously injuring the animal. On the left are the two we use.

Furthermore, we do not want to attract them. Anything that has an interesting smell is food to them. This includes more than your “food”; toothpaste, lip balm, soap, in fact anything that smells nice is food. All of it has to be protected. There are two strategies for your items that smell good to bears: bear bag safely located high up between trees and bear vaults. I’d love to use a bear bag safely tied between trees with enough clearance that a bear can’t reach it from the ground nor the tree. This is a favorable light-weight solution. But unfortunately where I usually go there is no such guarantee that there are tall enough tree’s, nor trees co-located to guarantee a safe location. So we use bear vaults. These are heavy, and cumbersome in your pack, but work in any environment. The idea is put everything in the vault that a bear would be attracted to and move it far away from your campsite or cook-site. Bears, if they find it, can’t get into them. Personally, I’ve never had a bear vault moved or damaged in any way from where we hid it. Typically, we place them less than 5 minutes from where we sleep. Bear vaults are highly recommended and in the country I backpack, necessary. Here is the one we use.

We’ve established, and I will repeat, our best defense is safety in numbers, in close proximity. We want bears to know we are around and NOT startle them. Bear mothers will move their young away from us if she knows we are in their vicinity, therefore stopping us from getting between her and her playful cubs. If they know we are around they move on. We also know we have our smell to help them know nasty humans are around. But we want to go one step further – and make noise. Talking helps. Some people have bells on their pack, or whistles. I say – in classic OCEANBRZ fashion – let’s make noise singing! Me and my backpacking bro’s sing – and at times pretty loud – singularly or in chorus – key songs, appropriate songs. My favorites are The Doors – Touch Me and Love Me Two Times. But, for my readers, I have developed a playlist of appropriate songs. And I am also attaching the lyrics for your study and memorization of that which I think you might want to know. Appropriate songs for what you are doing. A playlist for you and the lyrics for your personal study! Now between your smell and your singing, in your safe group setting – you aint seeing any bears! And in the wood, you can let it out loud! Hey, I’m old and this is my music – feel free to make it your own. I’d love to know what songs you’d prefer. Please comment!

Lyrics

Staying Alive

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk
I’m a woman’s man, no time to talk
Music loud and women warm
I’ve been kicked around since I was born

And now it’s all right, it’s okay
And you may look the other way
We can try to understand
The New York Times’ effect on man

Whether you’re a brother or whether you’re a mother
You’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Feel the city breaking and everybody shaking
And we’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive

Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive

Well now, I get low and I get high
And if I can’t get either, I really try
Got the wings of heaven on my shoes
I’m a dancing man and I just can’t lose

You know it’s all right, it’s okay
I’ll live to see another day
We can try to understand
The New York Times’ effect on man

Whether you’re a brother or whether you’re a mother
You’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Feel the city breaking and everybody shaking
And we’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive

Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive, ah

Life going nowhere, somebody help me
Somebody help me, yeah
Life going nowhere, somebody help me
Yeah, I’m stayin’ alive

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk
I’m a woman’s man, no time to talk
Music loud and women warm
I’ve been kicked around since I was born

And now it’s all right, it’s okay
And you can look the other way
We can try to understand
The New York Times’ effect on man

Whether you’re a brother or whether you’re a mother
You’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Feel the city breaking and everybody shaking
And we’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive

Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive

Life going nowhere, somebody help me
Somebody help me, yeah
Life going nowhere, somebody help me
Yeah, I’m stayin’ alive

Life going nowhere, somebody help me
Somebody help me, yeah
Life going nowhere, somebody help me
Yeah, I’m stayin’ alive

 

Alabama Song

Well, show me the way, To the next whiskey bar
Oh, don’t ask why, Oh, don’t ask why
Show me the way, To the next whiskey bar
Oh, don’t ask why, Oh, don’t ask why
For if we don’t find, The next whiskey bar
I tell you we must die, I tell you we must die
I tell you, I tell you, I tell you we must die
Oh, moon of Alabama, We now must say goodbye
We’ve lost our good old mama
And must have whiskey, oh, you now why
Oh, moon of Alabama
We now must say goodbye
We’ve lost our good old mama
And must have whiskey, oh, you now why
Well, show me the way, To the next little girl
Oh, don’t ask why, Oh, don’t ask why
Show me the way, To the next little girl
Oh, don’t ask why, Oh, don’t ask why
For if we don’t find, The next little girl
I tell you we must die, I tell you we must die
I tell you, I tell you, I tell you we must die
Oh, moon of Alabama, We now must say goodbye
We’ve lost our good old mama
And must have whiskey, oh, you now why

 

Touch Me 

Come on, come on, come on, come on
Now touch me, baby
Can’t you see that i am not afraid?
What was that promise that you made?
Why won’t you tell me what she said?
What was that promise that you made?

Now, i’m gonna love you
Till the heavens stop the rain
I’m gonna love you
Till the stars fall from the sky for you and i

Come on, come on, come on, come on
Now touch me, baby
Can’t you see that i am not afraid?
What was that promise that you made?
Why won’t you tell me what she said?
What was that promise that you made?

I’m gonna love you
Till the heavens stop the rain
I’m gonna love you
Till the stars fall from the sky for you and i

I’m gonna love you
Till the heavens stop the rain
I’m gonna love you
Till the stars fall from the sky for you and i

Stronger Than Dirt!

Ring Of Fire

Love is a burning thing And it makes a fiery ring
Bound by wild desire
I fell in to a ring of fire
I fell in to a burning ring of fire

I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher
And it burns, burns, burns

The ring of fire
The ring of fire
I fell in to a burning ring of fire

I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher
And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire
The ring of fire
The taste of love is sweet

When hearts like ours meet
I fell for you like a child
Oh, but the fire went wild
I fell in to a burning ring of fire

I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher
And it burns, burns, burns

The ring of fire
The ring of fire
I fell into a burning ring of fire

I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher
And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire
The ring of fire
And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire
The ring of fire

I Walk The Line

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you’re mine, I walk the line

I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day’s through
Yes, I’ll admit that I’m a fool for you
Because you’re mine, I walk the line

As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And happiness I’ve known proves that it’s right
Because you’re mine, I walk the line

You’ve got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can’t hide
For you I know I’d even try to turn the tide
Because you’re mine, I walk the line

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you’re mine, I walk the line

Mr. Brightside

Comin’ out of my cage
And I’ve been doin’ just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all

It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss
It was only a kiss

Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s havin’ a smoke
And she’s takin’ a drag

Now they’re goin’ to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head

But she’s touching his chest now
He takes off her dress now
Let me go
And I just can’t look
It’s killing me
And taking control

Jealousy
Turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr. Brightside

I’m comin’ out of my cage
And I’ve been doin’ just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all

It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss
It was only a kiss

Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s havin’ a smoke
And she’s takin’ a drag

Now they’re goin’ to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head

But she’s touching his chest now
He takes off her dress now
Let me go
‘Cause I just can’t look
It’s killing me
And taking control

Jealousy
Turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr. Brightside

I never
I never
I never
I never

Love Me Two Times

Love me two times, baby
Love me twice today
Love me two times, girl
I’m goin’ away

Love me two times, girl
One for tomorrow
One just for today
Love me two times
I’m goin’ away

Love me one time
Could not speak
Love me one time
Yeah, my knees got weak

Love me two times, girl
Last me all through the week

Love me two times
I’m goin’ away
Love me two times
I’m goin’ away, oh, yes

Love me one time
Could not speak
Love me one time, baby
Yeah, my knees got weak

Love me two times, girl
Last me all through the week

Love me two times
I’m goin’ away
Love me two times, babe
Love me twice today

Love me two times, babe
‘Cause I’m goin’ away
Love me two time, girl
One for tomorrow
One just for today

Love me two times
I’m goin’ away
Love me two times
I’m goin’ away
Love me two times
I’m goin’ away

 

Back Door Man

Wha, yeah
C’mon, yeah, yeah, c’mon, yeah
I am a, yeah, I’m a back door man
I’m a back door man
The men don’t know, but the little girls understand
Hey, all you people that tryin’ to sleep
I’m out to make it with my midnight dream, yeah
‘Cause I’m a back door man
The men don’t know, but the little girls understand
All right, yeah
You men eat your dinner, eat your pork and beans
I eat more chicken than any man ever seen, yeah, yeah
I’m a back door man, wha
The men don’t know, but the little girls understand
Well, I’m a back door man
I’m a back door man
Whoa, baby, I’m a back door man
The men don’t know, but the little girls understand
 

Sweet Caroline

Where it began
I can’t begin to knowing
But then I know it’s growing strong
Was in the spring
And spring became a summer
Who’d believe you’d come along

Hands
Touching hands
Reaching out
Touching me
Touching you

Sweet Caroline
Good times never seemed so good
I’ve been inclined
To believe they never would
But now I

Look at the night
And it don’t seem so lonely
We fill it up with only two

And when I hurt
Hurting runs off my shoulders
How can I hurt when holding you?

One
Touching one
Reaching out
Touching me
Touching you

Sweet Caroline
Good times never seemed so good
I’ve been inclined
To believe they never would
Oh no no
Sweet Caroline
Good times never seemed so good
Sweet Caroline
I believe they never could
Sweet Caroline

 

Holly Holy

Holly holy eyes
Dream of only me
Where I am, what I am
What I believe in
Holly holy
Holly holy dream
Wanting only you
And she comes
And I run just like the wind will
Holly holy

(Sing) Sing a song
(Sing) Sing a song of songs
(Sing) Sing it out
Sing it strong (Sing, sing, sing, sing)
Yeah
Yeah

Call the sun in the dead of the night
And the sun’s gonna rise in the sky
Touch a man who can’t walk upright
And that lame man, he’s gonna fly
And I fly
And I fly

Holly holy love
Take the lonely child
And the seed
Let it be full with tomorrow
Holly holy

(Sing) sing a song
(Sing, Sing) sing a song of songs
(Sing)sing it out

Sing it strong (Sing, sing, sing, sing)
Yeah
Yeah
Call the sun in the dead of the night
And the sun’s gonna rise in the sky
Touch a man who can’t walk upright
And that lame man, he’s gonna fly
And I fly, yeah
And I fly
Holly holy dream
Dream of only you
Holly holy sun
Holly holy rain
Holly ho holy love

I’m Gonna Be

When I wake up, well I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the man who wakes up next to you
When I go out, yeah I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the man who goes along with you

If I get drunk, well I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
And if I haver, hey I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the man who’s havering to you

But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

When I’m working, yes I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the man who’s working hard for you
And when the money comes in for the work I do
I’ll pass almost every penny on to you

When I come home, oh I know I’m gonna be
(When I come home)
I’m gonna be the man who comes back home to you
And if I grow old, well I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the man who’s growing old with you

But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

Da d-da da, da d-da da, da d-da da, da d-da da
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle a da da
Da d-da da, da d-da da, da d-da da, da d-da da
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle a da da

When I’m lonely, well I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the man who’s lonely without you
And when I’m dreaming, well I know I’m gonna dream
I’m gonna dream about the time when I’m with you

When I go out, well I know I’m gonna be
(When I go out)
I’m gonna be the man who goes along with you
And when I come home, yes I know I’m gonna be
(When I come home)
I’m gonna be the man who comes back home with you
I’m gonna be the man who’s coming home with you

But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

Da d-da da, da d-da da, da d-da da, da d-da da
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle a da da
Da d-da da, da d-da da, da d-da da, da d-da da
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle a da da

Da d-da da, da d-da da, da d-da da, da d-da da
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle a da da
Da d-da da, da d-da da, da d-da da, da d-da da
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle a da da

And I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

 

Feel Like Making Love

Baby, when I think about you
I think about love
Darlin’, don’t live without you
And your love
If I had those golden dreams
Of my yesterdays
I would wrap you in the heaven
Till I’m dyin’ on the way Feel like makin’Feel like makin’ love
Feel like makin’ love to you Baby, if I think about you
I think about love
Darlin’ if I live without you
I live without love
If I had the sun and moon
I would give you both night and day
Of satisfyin’ Feel like makin’Feel like makin’love
Feel like makin love to you And if I had those golden dreams
Of my yesterdays
I would wrap you in the heaven
Till I’m dyin’ on the way Feel like makin’ love
Feel like makin’ love

 

Sympathy For The Devil

Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and taste
I’ve been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man’s soul and fate

I was ’round when Jesus Christ
Had his moments of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

I stuck around St. Petersburg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the Czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain

I rode a tank
Held a General’s rank
When the Blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
What’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah

I watched the glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the Gods they made

I shouted out
“Who killed the Kennedys?”
Well after all
It was you and me

Let me please introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for troubadours
Who get killed before they reached Bombay

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
But what’s confusing you
Is just the nature of my game, ooh yeah

Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails just call me Lucifer
I’m in need of some restraint

So if you meet me, have some courtesy
Have some sympathy and some taste
Use all your well learned politics
Or I’ll lay your soul to waste, mmm yeah

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, mmm yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, get down
Woo hoo, ah yeah, get on down, oh yeah

Tell me, baby, what’s my name?
Tell me, honey, baby guess my name
Tell me, baby, what’s my name?
I’ll ya one time you’re to blame

What’s my name?
Tell me, baby, what’s my name?
Tell me, sweetie, what’s my name?

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14 Responses

  1. Pretty good summary here. Not sure listening to you sing for 3-4 days is what I would sign up for.

  2. The bear markings on the trees are very striking. Having seen them with you in person, it really made me feel like we were on their turf. I also like to think they do it for our benefit.

    I’m really glad that Grizzly wanted nothing to do with you.

    One for tomorrow! One just for today! Bah Bah Bah Bah Bah!

  3. Pretty first-rate post. I just stumbled upon your web page and wanted to say that I have in actuality enjoyed reading your web site posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon.

  4. Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wished to say that Ive truly enjoyed browsing your blog posts. In any case I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again soon!

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